Products Offered to Me via Email

Well when I got up today my inbox was absolutely stuffed with spam-mail. Here's a small list of the various products (or whatever) offered:
porn
lesbian porn
animal porn
penis enlargments
viagra
prescription medicine
free ipod
free xbox
free ps3
more porn
webcam chick
weapons (this one might be useful actually)
insurance
swedish guy needs my help to access his money
norwegian guy ditto
girl in sacremento wants to have my baby
work at home earn $1500-$5000 a week (herbalife scam)
lose weight (also herbalife scam)
asian mail order brides (hmmm tempting)
russian mail order brides (hell no! I watch my name is earl that russian bride is uuugly)
choose Christ
select Satan
accept Allah
sign up for Scientology
free daily horoscope
turn your ex into a toad (must remember this one)
cut your bills in half (last tim I cut them in half the bank sent a nice man with a bat to see me)
nore porn
free porn
hi remember me (no I don't)
Why won't you answer my calls?!? (ex-girlfriend? debt collector? be more specific)
I have a 12 inch pen... (you must really write a lot)
super mystery cult
buy cheese (okay that one was just weird)
stop spam (about 12 spam messages)

And this was just what made it to my inbox, I really don't want to know what landed in the junk-mail.

Be back after I finish reading the mail
Robbo